How does it feel to be forty-one?

I feel tired.
Dave (who likes to point out that I've now caught up to him in age) feels tired.

And we're not even in the same state so that is not the reason. ;)

Today is my birthday.

I thought it would be depressing to be alone on my birthday but I had a good day.

I spent the morning chatting online with a couple of friends and I had several phone calls/texts of birthday wishes.

I went shopping and splurged just enough to feel good without having to feel guilty too.

I went to dinner with my boyfriend's brother (and he insisted on paying when he found out it was my birthday!).

This is what 41 looks like:

March 14 - Just shy of midnight we pulled into the parking slot for his apartment. Our apartment.


Three days earlier my home was in California, almost 3000 miles west of where I now stood. How had that happened? I left behind all of my family, all of my friends. My two beautiful nieces whom I had the pleasure to help raise on a daily basis. I've never been one to take risks or embrace change. Isn't it amazing what love can do?

It's been five years now. We traded the one bedroom apartment for a 93-year-old house that needs a bit of work (quite a bit) and settled into a normal life of couplehood - work, chores, travel. Holidays with the kids every other year. Pretty good recipe for happily ever after.

So what happens when he has to go away for work and I have to be on my own for most of the year? I wonder why I moved out here. If he's not going to be here...what's the point?

And then I think about the last four years filled with work, chores and travel. And the holidays with the kids every other year. I think about how it makes me smile when I get his daily phone calls and how I start to cry when I see him after a long absence. I think about the love I have for this man.

That's the point. I am where I belong.